The Stable Genius and the Golfer with the Huge Penis
Powerful thoughts from a presidential candidate
--
He’s the best, the most brilliant, humongous, fantastic EVER.
He’s done more for Black people than Abraham Lincoln. He’s America’s best president, and the Father of IVF.
He says what he means and means what he says, except he didn’t mean it like that, and no, of course he never said that.
Fake news, fake news. Those liberals are the enemy within, and we should deploy the military on them. Shoot protesters in the legs or something.
But not the ones who stormed the Capital — those are heroes, those are patriots. It was very peaceful, totally peaceful. A day of love. Peaceful transfer of power, it was, even though he never lost that election. It was stolen!
Fraud, fraud, fraud everywhere. Fake news, fake news.
And now the country is a disaster, it’s a third world country, it’s horrendous.
Those horrible zombie monsters from shithole countries, those lunatics and transgender murderers from foreign prisons, overrunning our borders and living it up in five-star hotels — those are the ones poisoning our blood, eating the dogs, eating the cats.
The Great Replacement, is what it is. You won’t have a country anymore, if that whore who surely slept her way to the top gets her way. You know, the one with the mystifyingly unpronounceable name. Now she says she’s Black, but wasn’t she Indian? Who even knows what she is, she probably doesn’t know herself.
But he has great respect for women. He loves women. And when you’re a celebrity, they let you do anything. Grab them by the pussy. Just start kissing them; he doesn’t even ask. This one woman, he moved on her like a bitch — even though he was married at the time.
But he didn’t rape that other woman. She wouldn’t be his first choice.
And the late, great Dr. Hannibal was a wonderful man. And he said, "oh, I love Donald Trump." Just like Taylor Swift, she endorsed Trump.
(Now let’s pause to awkwardly sway to a playlist of Ave Maria, Ave Maria again, and a gay anthem from the 1980s.)
In closing, Arnold Palmer had a huge penis.
