Response to Taryn
Thanks for writing in.
I don’t claim to have all the answers. And I understand your concern.
I can tell you that for me, vagina-only spaces make me want to cry. They make me feel like an outcast among my own people.
What I personally do in women’s spaces where that body part could be a trigger (gym locker, public swimming room changing spaces, etc.) is I make sure to keep my underwear on, and mind my own business.
Besides, I’ve never seen women — cis or trans — make a big production of flaunting their genitals in such spaces.
At women’s retreats, I check with the host to find out whether I’m welcome. Generally the events I attend make a big effort of posting something such as “all women welcome”, or “all femmes welcome, cis, trans, intersex & non-binary.” But even in those spaces I’m cautious. (I’m not gonna lie, it’s a constant emotional effort.)
I’m fortunate that I belong to an accepting SexPositive community where cis women are comfortable with my nude presence in spaces that call for nudity — but even then I’m shy, awkward and embarrassed, and tend to stay covered.