Response to Richard

First off, if we're going to engage in a 'debate' on this topic, please underrstand that what, for you, is a stimulating intellectual debate, for me, is my life and my survival at stake. So we're going to have different levels of emotional investment and emotional endurance.

That said, I'll explain. The "point" of using the word 'cisgender' is that the lazy default to the phrase 'transgender women' is 'as opposed to real women;' or, 'as opposed to natural women;' or 'as opposed to regular women.' 'Normal women.' That would paint us trans women as unreal, unnatural, irregular. Abnormal.

Or simply, 'as opposed to women' - which of course, would class us as NOT women.

And that is cruel, and inaccurate.

So behavioral scientists and biogeneticists acopted the use of the word 'cisgender.'

Gender is the collection of psychobehavioral and self-cognizant traits that classify us along a spectrum.

Trans means across, or away from.

Cis means proximal, near.

A cisgender person is a person whose gender aligns closely with the physiological traits we assign to that gender.

This allows us to describe people without cruelty, without othering, without marginalization.

Oprah Winfrey is a woman. She's a Black woman. She's a cisgender woman.

Laverne Cox is a woman. She's a Black woman. She's a transgender woman.

Depending the level of granularity needed in any given case, the distinction may be relevant or irrelevant.

Incidentally, you wrote "then you're admitting that trans is different." - Of COURSE I openly admit that trans and cis are different. When it comes to medical care, a cis woman may need a pap smear, a trans woman may not. A trans woman may need a prostate exam, a cis woman would not. And both types of women would need annual mammograms past a certain age.

But the question of trans or cis should NOT matter when it comes to bathrooms, changing booths, fitting rooms or gym lockers. Women get one, men (trans or cis) get another.

I don't know what prompted you to claim we'd need four bathrooms, I imagine you were being facetious.

None of this takes into consideration Intersex people (and there are over 120 million Intersex people worldwide), so we might at some point stop ignoring them and perhaps decide what is best in terms of bathroom options for them.

None of this takes into account Non-Binary people (we don't have numbers on them, because Governments continue to ignore them in census questions. But they number in the millions as well).

You say you prefer 'males of females' (by the way, that's dehumanizing language. Cicadas and monkeys are males of females. When describing humans, it's best to use 'men,' 'women.'

And OF COURSE you'd prefer that - you fit easily in that construct. That's entitlement and privilege for ya. That's like saying, you'd rather have no hand-rails or ramps, because you're not handicapped so you don't have to worry about it. It's not a very humane approach.

NOTE: If you choose to write back, please lose the flippancy. It's not cute - it's just irritating.

Activist. Public speaker. Writer. Community Organizer. Mom. Creator & Host, Empowered Trans Woman Summit. Managing Editor,

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