Response to Hadas
Thank you so much! It’s so encouraging to receive messages like this one.
Some people don’t realize I’m just one person, and some days it can be really overwhelming.
I want to really emphasize that it’s not cis women who attack me. I mean, sure, they’re women, and they’re cis. But they’re very specifically TERFs (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists) — which is a group of its own (theTERFs.com). Generally speaking, I get a lot of support from the cis women in my life AND cis and trans women on the internet.
I can totally understand why the notion of having someone with a penis in a woman’s space can bring up feelings of alarm, indignation, confusion. I really want to convey that myself, and all trans women I know, go to great lengths to never create an uncomfortable situation. At the gym, I change in a private stall.
Being a trans woman is extremely challenging. The friendship and support of cis women is immeasurably helpful.
I wanted to close with an example that has stayed with me.
At a new job. Two women invited me to jog with them, during lunchtime. Lunch comes, we all go to the bathroom. We’re each in our individual stalls, changing, peeing. We’re gabbing at times, through the stall walls. We then come out, go jogging. This gives us the opportunity to get to know one another. I disclose to them I’m trans. They have questions (none of them invasive, and asked with care and politeness). I offer answers.
We then get back to the bathroom. Time to change back into business clothes. Once again, peeing, changing, chatting. The spectacular things is — nothing changed. At no point did they treat me any different. And that is such a blessing.
Anyway, thanks for writing!