Response to Amanda O’Bryan, PhD

Thank you for your vulnerability.

I understand. We’re living through times of great social change. It is hard to keep up. And some of the prejudice that we carry with us bubbles up without us even realizing.

I have had to process negative feelings about drag queens. To me, it felt like they were mocking my life experience in a cabaret performance. It’s taken many conversations to chip away at my resentment and to let go of some of my fixed ideas on this.

A good friend of mine is a trans man. Two years ago he made news as “the pregnant man.” He and his spouse are raising two beautiful children together. The idea of a pregnant man is very new to all of us. But honestly, I think that the same can apply at the idea of a woman as a commercial pilot, the idea of a black girl attending school with her white friends, the idea of… etc. Every time our rigid ideas of gender are challenged.

Conversely, I am deeply, deeply sad that I’m unable to conceive. I’ve witnessed the birth of three children, and I’m thrilled to be a parent — but I’ll never experience pregnancy. That is profoundly sad to me.

Here are a couple of articles I wrote recently you might find of interest:

But, Menstrual Pads Are For Women! …Aren’t They?

“You Can’t Talk Gender To A Child” — And Other LIES You Tell


Activist. Public speaker. Writer. Community Organizer. Mom. Creator & Host, Empowered Trans Woman Summit. Managing Editor,

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