You’ve just been exposed to new concepts, new thoughts. I suggest you might be better served without such an absolutist reaction.
No, you don’t have to change any bedroom habits. Yes, you are invited to ponder how penis-clad gals fit, or do not fit, in your community.
TERFs are a very specific group of people, with a very specific agenda. I doubt you are one of them.
The integration of trans folk into society, away from isolation and marginalization, will inevitably have its awkward and/or uncomfortable moments. This is one of them.
I’ve had lesbian gals embrace me and validate me as a woman, and choose not to pursue me romantically. I can live with that. I’ve also had lesbian gals accept me sexually, with positive results for both sides.
Some lesbians are hardcore “6" on the Kinsey scale (somewhat of an outdated model, but you know what I mean). Some gals are a bit more flexible in their sexuality. All of this plays into it.
I have my own hard limits — and would not welcome anyone telling me I need to dismiss them. In really sorry my piece seemed to suggest to you that you’d have to dismiss yours.