I truly relate to what you write. As a woman, I too have been subjected to derogatory/demeaning comments. As a sexual being, I’ve been exposed to more than “gawk” — I’m a survivor of sexual assault (#metoo).
I’m sorry you’ve been subjected to anyone using “cis” in any derogatory way. It is NOT a derogatory term. It is a term natal women use out of empathy, in order to make trans women feel less “othered.” I appreciate it when natal women embrace the term, rather than saying something entitled like “real women” or “normal women,” which is very demeaning to gals like me.
I fully endorse and support the notion of women’s spaces. As a facilitator of sexpositive events for SexPositiveWorld.com in Los Angeles and Portland, I’ve organized and led many women-only events. The one area where exclusionary anti-trans radfems and I part company is that they would consider me “not a woman” and exclude me from such spaces and events. I consider that a) inaccurate, and b) offensive and discriminatory.